The Family You Choose…
This month I’m thinking about friendship because of the Facebook posts on my birthday from people representing many different parts of my life –- those I’ve known since the age of five and new friends who feel like family. Each of them holds an image (or many) of me — as I do them — in a time and place from a chapter in my life. I’ve been reflecting on the value of those connections; how meaningful it is to know you are thought of, appreciated, and loved, but it also has me considering how we can better support those who feel terribly alone.
This was prompted, in part, by a young man (I’ll call him Jack) at the HYPE Center. After the meditation, which was a very moving experience for him, Jack told Nancy that he had been on the streets since he was 11 years old. (He’s now in his early 20s.) Jack said, during that time his shadow was “his very best friend because it never left my side.” It is heartbreaking to think this is a truth for him and countless others. Now that he is off the streets, Jack wistfully added that he sometimes feels alone and misses his shadow because it got him through the most difficult times.
In the opposite stage of life, older adults face a similar sense of isolation, even when they have a place to call home. The shutdowns of the pandemic exacerbated the sense of seclusion and case workers are noticing that many individuals are having a difficult time venturing out and returning to social circles. I met two women and a man (who called themselves the Three Musketeers!) at one of Tacoma Housing Authority’s senior residences. They were clearly the gatekeepers, suspicious of visitors, but they warmed up a bit when they found out I was coming to do a meditation with them. Quietly, one of the women confided to me that she missed the chance to go to the community room (which recently reopened after more than two years). She said, “I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through with all that Covid stuff. It wasn’t the virus but the loneliness that was killing me.”
Photo by Austin Pacheco on Unsplash
According to the Mental Health Foundation, “Friendship is a crucial element in protecting our mental health. Our friends can keep us grounded, help us get things in perspective, and help us manage the problems that life throws at us.” Though it can be difficult to cultivate friends as an adult, studies have shown that friendship lessens stress, increases happiness, and assists in a better aging process.
We know that meditation has similar benefits, and it is why we are avidly pursuing partnerships with organizations that work with populations prone to marginalization, high levels of stress, and frequent anxiety. According to Mental Health America, “the number of people looking online for help with their mental health increased significantly from 2019-2021; over 5.4 million people took a mental health screening, representing a nearly 500% increase over the number of people who completed a screening in 2019.” Although the number of people seeking mental health services has increased dramatically over the last two years, their access to the services of mental health professionals has not kept pace.
The work of Soul Seeds is designed to help address the mental health and emotional well-being of communities that historically have had limited access to the benefits of meditation; we’re hearing more and more about how crucial access to care is at this time. We are working to raise awareness of our intuitive meditation as an alternative therapy that is practical, accessible, and user-friendly; it’s an actionable way to help people cope that does not require any financial investment by the individual.
Hubert Humphrey once said, “The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.” Let’s add meditation to those two. Now consider, how often do you prioritize these things (or other self-care activities) in your week? It’s tough to be there for others and hold a supportive space when you’re not taking care of yourself. Take time to relax, daydream, and do things you enjoy. Then call or visit your friends. Check in. Laugh. Cry. Reminisce. Tell funny stories. Reconnect. Find the joy and the unconditional support in being together. After all, that’s what friends are for!
Melanie Davis-Jones (she/her/hers) Executive Director
In Case You Missed It:
Water, a Sacred Celestial Intelligence | Video by Nancy Rebecca
Pandemic Amplified Existing Youth Mental Health Crisis | Report from Duke University on conditions and how to help
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